The One With the Recording
by Terranova210486
Summary: It's just a boring day on Seefra 1 for Captain Hunt and his crew, until Trance announces some pretty big news... Trance/Harper


_Note: This fanfic takes place well after the episode_ _ **Moonlight Becomes You**_ _, and it diverges a bit from Season 5 and the mainstream canon. But let's face it; any changes to Season 5 would be a huge improvement._

 _It's also inspired by a certain_ _ **Friends**_ _episode._

 _Enjoy!_

It was just another ordinary day on Seefra 1. Hot, dusty and boring.

Captain Dylan Hunt (well technically he wasn't a captain anymore, but he still preferred to think of himself as one) and his courageous crew were just whiling the hours away in the Oasis Bar. There were no Magog attacks to worry about, no dictators to overthrow, no beautiful women to rescue.

In short, complete and utter boredom for everyone.

Currently the crew sitting at their favourite table consisted of Dylan, Beka Valentine, Telemachus Rhade, Doyle and Trance Gemini. Dylan was leaning back on his chair, thinking of the good old days before they were trapped in literally the middle of nowhere. Doyle was reading a trashy romance novel while Rhade and Beka were just drinking some of the local 'moonshine' and swapping stories. Trance was silently placing some tarot cards on the table and studying them. Trying to map out the best Perfect Possible Future, she explained to the others. Her shot glass of whisky was left untouched.

"So, why isn't Harper at the bar today?" Doyle asked.

Dylan shrugged. "Oh, he's back on the Andromeda, still working on a way to fix those two articfial suns before they wipe out all life as we know in the Seefra System."

"Do you think we should lend him a hand?" Beka asked. "I feel kinda bad leaving all of that on his shoulders."

"At least it'll give us something to do,' Rhade quipped dryly.

"I've already thought of that," Dylan spoke. "Harper told me he does his 'super genius stuff' better alone. He then said something about us probably messing things up by being what he called 'muggles'."

Beka snorted. "Sounds like our Seamus."

Trance suddenly got out of her seat and walked directly out of the bar.

"Trance? What's wrong?" Beka called out concerned. But she was already gone.

"Well, that was weird," Rhade observed.

"Even for Trance," Beka agreed.

"Let me got talk to her," Dylan volunteered as he left to follow her.

* * *

The others spent the next twenty minutes arguing amongst themselves of who could beat a Nightsider in a drinking contest when Dylan came back.

"So, how is she?" Beka asked.

"She's fine. Nothing's wrong," Dylan said as he sat down.

"Like hell there isn't. Trance has been acting weird in the last few weeks. I mean really weird, not the cute, charming kind of Trance weird. And I want to know why."

"You could ask her yourself."

"But I wanna know now!"

"I want know also," Doyle agreed

"And as crazy as this might sound," Rhade added, "I'm curious to what's going on as well. But I think it's largely the boredom talking."

"Well, too bad. I'm not going to tell you," Dylan said as he crossed his arms.

"Why not?" Beka wined.

"Because Trance confided in me in the strictest confidence. I'm not going to betray the trust she placed in me. Not even if you tortured me for the information."

"Don't be such a boy scout, Dlyan. Spill!"

"No, and nothing you say is going to make me-"

Trance suddenly walked up to the table.

"I'm pregnant," she announced.

There was a short moment of stunned silence.

Then Beka let a loud, " _ **What?!**_ "

This startled some of the other bar patrons, so she lowered her tone. "What?"

"She said she was preg-" Doyle began.

"I _heard_ her."

"I thought you didn't want the others to know yet," Dylan said to Trance as the Celestial Avatar took her seat.

"I did, and I appreciate the fact that you were willing to keep it a secret. But I decided it's better to let everyone know now, since they will find out eventually anyway."

"Well, congratulations," Rhade said dryly as he lifted his shot glass of whisky before swallowing it down in a single gulp.

Doyle grinned brightly. "I guess we can start organizing one of those baby showers I've read about. Do you want one Trance?"

Trance smiled serenely. "That dose sound nice…"

Beka just looked flabbergasted. "Trance…how did you…? How did you get pregnant?"

"How do you think?" Trance asked, sounding slightly offended.

"I mean, can a Celestial Avatar…can they…?"

"Do you really want to know the details, Valentine?" Rhade asked her.

Beka thought about it. "No, not really. Wait. Is there a father? There has to be father."

"Well, of course there's a father," Trance answered her question brusquely.

"It's Ione, isn't it?"

Trance grimaced. "What? No! He's more like a cousin. A distant cousin several times removed, but a cousin none the less."

"Is Flavin the father?" Doyle asked.

"Ewww. Of course not."

Beka shrugged. "Well, that's nearly everyone we know here that could have been close to you to...you know."

Her eyes then bugged out. She turned to face Dylan.

Dylan seemed to read her mind. "I am not the father Beka!"

Rhade snorted. "That's hard to believe. You do seem to go for every attractive young women we meet."

"First of all, I do not go for every woman I come across. I mean, if some of them find me appealing, I can't help it. And secondly, I am a High Guard officer, and a High Guard officer would never take advantage of a young and impressionable crew member like Trance. At least, I used to think she was younger than me."

"I am still young!" Trance snapped. "By my people's standards anyway…"

Beka mulled over it for a nanosecond. "I guess that's true. You are way too much of a goody two-shoes to even attempt such a thing. Do you know who the father is, Dylan?"

"Not a clue. Trance kept that to herself."

"And I will tell you who it is," Trance stated firmly. "Just not yet. I just need to talk to him first."

She got up to leave, but not before turning around and addressing the others. "If you see Harper, don't mention anything about this to him, okay?"

"Why, is he the father?" Rhade asked jokingly. But she had already left.

* * *

Half an hour passed while Dylan and the rest silently mulled over the news when Beka suddenly spoke.

"I think I know how we can figure out who the father is!" She then dashed out of the bar and came back a few minutes later.

"Where did you run off to?" Dylan asked as she sat back down again, an orange T-shirt in her hand.

"Back to the Maru. I think I have a clue to the identity of Trance's baby daddy."

She then held to T-shirt in front of her.

"I'm afraid to ask, but what does this have to do with the father of Trance's child?" Rhade asked.

"Well just look at it. It's not really Trance's style," Beka explained.

"It's not really in any Seefa fashion circles I've seen," Dylan quipped. "The outfits here are usually in grey or brown. With some dirt covered leather."

"That's beside the point. Trance doesn't wear anything like this. It can only belong to the father."

"Where did you get that?" Doyle queried.

"I found it in Trance's quarters a few weeks ago. Since it wasn't part of her usual attire, I thought I'd ask her where she got it from. But then we were busy with those space pirates later, so I forgot to ask her."

Dylan looked at the T-shirt closely. "I think I know how it might have gotten into her quarters."

"You do?"

"Well, nothing concrete mind you, but a month ago I was on-board the Andromeda, walking down the hallways; fondly remembering the days when we had a ship that worked. Then when I came by Trance's quarters, I heard noises."

Beka arched an eyebrow. "What kind of noises?"

"I think you can guess. But I didn't realize it at the time. I honestly thought Trance was in some sort of trouble, so I knocked on the door to see if she was okay. After a minute, she opened the door…wearing nothing but bedsheets."

"Oh my," Doyle grinned.

"Anyway, she looked pretty mad at the time. When I asked her what she was doing, she told me she was 'meditating' on the best way to create the Perfect Possible Future. And that if I didn't leave, my immediate future would be pretty bleak. And extremely short."

Rhade just stared at him. "And that didn't seem odd to you?"

"This is Trance we're talking about here. I didn't give it any further thought. But if I have to guess she had her currently unnamed lover with her, and that was when the T-shirt found its way into her quarters. But I fail to see how we can deduce the identity of its owner."

Beka grinned. "I can."

She shoved it into Rhade's face. "Smell it."

"What?!" Rhade shoved it away from him. "I'm not smelling that!"

"Smell it!"

"Why should I smell it?"

"You're always going on how genetically superior Nietzscheans are. Here's your chance to prove it. Track down who ever owns this T-shirt."

"Do I look like a bloodhound to you?"

Dylan chose to play the peacemaker before things got out of hand. "I don't think that'll work Beka. Nietzscheans do have excellent noses, but even they would be hard-pressed to track down a person down with just smell. We're just going to have to wait until Trance speaks to the father."

"But want to know now. I'm sick of waiting."

Trance suddenly came back into the bar, where she made a beeline to the table.

Doyle looked up. "Have you spoken to the father yet?"

The Celestial Avatar shook her head as she sat down again. "Not yet but he should be here soon."

"Can you at least tell us his name?" Beka asked her. "I'm dying to find out."

Before Trance could speak, a familiar voice called out from the entrance. "The Harper is in the house!"

Seamus Zelazny Harper then swaggered in, wearing a pair of shorts, a white T-shirt with a blue Hawaiian shirt over it. He looked like a picture from one of Dylan's old books on Ancient Earth History.

"Mr Harper, you seem to be in a good mood," Dylan spoke casually as the engineer walked up to their table. "I take it there's been progress on your 'Methus Project'."

"You can say that. Restarting an articfial sun may not easy, but man oh man, the Universe never had anyone like Seamus Harper until roughly 35 years ago. I may be still in the theoretical stage, but trust me, I am going be making history soon. It's a shame that they don't do Nobel Prizes anymore, because I am a shoe-in for one."

"Well, if we ever get back to the New Commonwealth, I'll be sure to put you up for their highest scientific award. Just don't push yourself too hard."

Harper grinned. "Relax boss, you know me. I work hard and I party hard. But everything's under control."

"You know Harper, Trance has some pretty big news she was about to tell us," Beka began, not noticing that Trance was beginning to blush.

"In a minute Beka; first I got a bar to run, and then I got to get some drinks to celebrate my upcoming success."

"On the house?" Rhade asked hopefully.

"Hell no. I'm running a business here. And you still have to pay off your tab."

Rhade snorted. "Greedy little man…"

Then Harper noticed the orange T-shirt on the table. "Hey, that's my favourite shirt. I've been looking for that for like a month."

He slung it over his shoulder and walked over to the bar, whistling all the way.

Dylan, Beka, Doyle and Rhade just sat there in shock as the realisation hit them like a meteor. They looked at Trance, who was blushing brightly, and then at Harper who was at the bar.

"Don't you guys worry about at thing, because the Harper is on top of everything," he called out.

"Apparently," Beka said, looking at Trance in both amusement and disbelief.

Trance smiled. "Well…."

 _Please read and review!_


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